Dr Guy Meadows, clinical director of the Sleep School, relays a suggestion.
"The traditional advice is to get out of bed and do something boring, like read a book...' he says.
Do something boring like read a book????
Good grief, has the man never read CS Forester? Adèle Geras? Agatha Christie? Sally Prue?
Has he never read Oh, Whistle and I'll Come To You, my Lad? Or The Signal-Man? Because you won't get much sleep if you can't lie flat because your hair's standing on end, I can tell you.
Has he never read Jane Eyre, a book which famously kept its publisher awake all night, turning the pages, agog?
Has he never read the Inspector Mould story Strychnine in the Soup?
Poor Dr Meadows. Poor, poor Dr Meadows.
Because the answer to all these questions must surely be no.
Word To Use Today: strychnine. This word, with pleasing relevance, comes from the Greek strukhnos, nightshade.
Uncredited stories in this rant are by MR James, Charles Dickens, Charlotte Bronte, and PG Wodehouse, respectively.