Instructions - a rant.

Congratulations on buying your B32 Icezoid player with Krypton Zlurge.

The long wiggly rope-type thing included with your device is a lead. Leads can be lethal if improperly used. YOU WILL DIE unless you have the technical technical technical sort of electricity which technical technical technical.

So don't say we didn't warn you.

NB: 1) Frying this device in oil, or sticking the plug in your ear-hole while humming Yankie Doodle, will invalidate your guarantee.

So will taking the device out of its packaging.

2) Your device will only work if you are in an area where it works.

Probably.


For further information about the safe and comfortable use of this appliance please read the Safety and Comfort Guide at youcantbetoocareful@whoops.com.

Using your B32 Icezoid Player:

[Ah! At last! Now: the important thing is to keep very calm and take everything step by step.]

First wagle your chirt.

[First wagle my what?

And what on earth's a...

...CHIRT?????

AAAAAARRRRGH!

Bash. Howl. Sob...]

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Well, what I say is, no wonder the world's running out of landfill sites.

Word To Use Today: instructions. This word is from the Latin unstruere, to equip, set in order, or teach, from struere, to build.