Terms and conditions: a rant.

I'm a very truthful person. In fact, sometimes I wonder if my interest in language began with my attempts to find kind but truthful answers to the question does my bum look big in this?*

But sometimes even a truthful person...

Look, those I-have-read-the-terms-and-conditions boxes on websites.

I know I've ticked them, but I was, well, lying, basically. I haven't really read them. I'm sorry. I did read them the first few times, but I've got fed up with them now and don't bother any more, not even since I heard the story about the firm that included the I-hereby-give-my-immortal-soul-freely-and-without-condition-to-the-sellers clause into the middle of their T&Cs small print.

I have a great affection for, and trust in, my fellow man, but you know something? I wouldn't be surprised if none of us have read the flipping terms and conditions.

Mind you, even if we did, the chances are we wouldn't understand the important ones.

So, please, stop asking us if we have read them, all right? Make them available - perhaps even make it impossible to buy something without clicking through the T&C page - but do please stop asking us if we've read them.

I hate it. It's because I'm a really really honest person.

And if we're going to do business then you don't want to stop me being that, do you?

Word To Use Today: condition. This word comes from the Latin conditiō, from condīcere to discuss or agree together.

*Ooh, you've got a new dress. What an interesting pattern. Puce is everywhere this year, isn't it; and of course halter-necks are your signature look. Yes, you'll really stand out from the crowd. Was that Gwyneth Paltrow I saw wearing an outfit like that? So where did you get it? I do like those shoes...