Thursday, 2 December 2021

One Man's Meat: a rant.

 This isn't so much a rant as an exasperated sigh from long ago. Well, from 1977.

It takes the form of an introductory note from the novel One Man's Meat by Colin Watson.

It was necessary for the plot of this book to invent the names of a couple of processed dog foods and to ascribe to their supposed manufacturers titles which would neither duplicate nor suggest those of any real firms. The most diligent inquiries ere made. They led rapidly to two discoveries: first, that the pet food industry dwarfs in size and complexity some of the biggest enterprises in the field of human nutrition; second, that no word in the English language (nor, indeed, out of it) can safely be discounted as a potential brand name, however tenuous its canine connections.

Having regard for the difficulties and hazards presented by this situation, and in pursuance of my aim to avoid causing moral, aesthetic, patriotic, religious or commercial distress to any one of the several thousand patentees, proprietors and distributors of food-stuffs for domestic animals, I hereby solemnly declare that all such substances and their manufacturers mentioned in this book are purely imaginary and have nothing to do with the real and beautiful world in which we live.

In particular, I affirm that the imaginary product Woof! referred to in this book is in no way connected with or intended to resemble the actual product which is an expanded complete dog food manufactured and marketed by BP Nutrition (UK) Limited, under that name.

**

I know the feeling!

Oh, but what a beautiful writer Colin Watson was.

And how grateful I am to write in the age of the Internet!

Word To Use Today: diligent. This word comes from the Latin dīligentia, care or attentiveness.



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