Thursday, 10 February 2022

The Thin Blue Lines: a rant.

Is it wrong to split infinitives? If it is, why is it wrong? I ask, because some people seem to think splitting infinitives a sign of moral decay, and not just a sign of carelessness, fashion, or general illiteracy.

Are split infinitives more or less wrong than prepositions at the end of sentences? Do they both make you froth at the mouth? 

How about missing apostrophes? Do you despise greengrocers? Do you carry a pen specifically for your preferred marking of the genitive case?

Well, even if all three of these quirks have you climbing the walls, you've got nothing on an online grammar program.

The red-line spelling "corrections" I don't mind, even though I often don't agree with them. If I want to write civilisation with an s then I will. But the grammatical "corrections" are annoying because they're harder to dismiss.

What's wrong with this sentence?

 If I thought about it properly I'd hate them, too. 

Well, don't ask me, but Hotmail puts blue lines under the word properly.*

There have been hundreds of excellent writers in the world (perhaps thousands. I haven't counted) and they're all different. It's the difference that makes them great.

But if everyone is to be nagged if they write something which doesn't fit in with a computer's idea of correctness then we're in danger of losing a great deal of difference.

I propose that all such systems should be opt-in.

Then language will be free again to wander in strange, magnificent avenues, and we shall live in a world where humans program computers, and not the other way round

Word To Use Today: one which annoys a computer. The word proper comes from the Latin word prōprius, which means special.

*On reflection, there is a case to be made for a comma after the word properly. But I still don't want to include one. So there!


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