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Thursday 5 April 2012

Nothing worse: a rant.

Catalogues are tempting things. Well, they have to be tempting, of course, or they'd be pointless.


Oh, but the things you can sometimes find in them. Plastic tree-faces. Rubber balls that make a dog look as if it's grinning.


Garden gnomes...


Catalogues are full of words, of course, too.


Last week I received a catalogue. It was hoping to sell me a bag in which to keep my toothpaste tube while travelling.


There's nothing worse than finding toothpaste everywhere, it said.


Nothing worse?


Really?


Good grief, that writer must have led a sheltered life.


So must have these:


There's nothing worse than:


               choosing a cellphone plan;

               washing sieves;


               going to the Post Office (I couldn't be bothered to read on to find out what happened at the Post Office, but, hey come on!);


              a chalky aftertaste.


Oh yes there are worse things. Stubbing your toe, for instance.

Or discovering half a maggot in your apple.


Or cheapening really important words like nothing and worse.


Hwoof!


Word To Use Carefully Today: worse.  This word has been around, not much changed, for probably even longer than there's been an English language for it to grace. The Gothic form was wairsiza.

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