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Thursday 17 May 2012

To the bitter end: a rant.

Once upon a time, in a far-away country, a king sent his brother king a message:


Send me a blue pig with green spots, it said. Or else


Now, the brother king (let's call him Herbert) was seized by a great fury at this terrible insult, and he called up his army to avenge it.

Biff! Boing! Clang! Take that, varlet! Ow! Zap! Pow! Ouch!


Several years later the two kings met amidst the ruins of their battle-torn countries.


'I can't see why you had to start all this war business, anyway,' said King Ethelred (if that was indeed his name), mournfully.


'Because you insulted me!' cried King Herbert, fumbling furiously in his furbelows. 'You sent me this terrible message, look!'


King Ethelred sighed deeply, took the note, turned it over, and pointed to the writing on the other side. It said:


a pig of some other colour, because your country has just the finest pigs to be found anywhere. Just drop me an invoice, okay? Love, Ethel.


**********************************************************************************


You always have to assume that people may not read to the end. This is from a simply wonderful book called THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MAMMALS, edited by Dr David Macdonald.

When caught young, honey badgers make interesting pets

 - no, no, please! Don't go and buy one yet! First read the rest of the paragraph:

but it may become dangerous when an adult, given to sudden bursts of fury, attacking friend or foe indiscriminately.

Hm.

You know, I'm really not sure that interesting was quite the right word...

Word To Use Today: fury. This word comes from the Latin word furia, rage, from furere, to be furious.

1 comment:

  1. I am guilty of doing that sometimes. I will tweet link to warn others. It's a timely message told in an amusing way! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

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