It's not just writers in English who can be funny, you know. Or people of the modern age.
Cecco Angliolieri lived in Siena in Italy from 1260 - c1312. It sounds as if he had a lot of fun, and his sonnet sounds as if it could have been written yesterday.
This translation is by Lorna de' Lucchi.
If I were fire
If I were fire, I'd burn the world; if wind,
Around about it furiously I'd blow;
If water, drowning it would suit my mind;
If God, then I'd dispatch it straight below;
If I were pope, I'd have a bit of fun
In setting Christians one against another;
If emp'ror, well, what think ye I'd have done?
All heads chopped off, and so an end to bother!
I would go seek my father were I death;
But were I life from him I'd flee away;
And I'd behave the same towards my mother;
If Cecco, as I am and draw my breath,
I'd choose such ladies as are young and gay,
Leaving the old and ugly to another.
S'i' fosso foco
Si'i' fosse foco, arderei 'l mondo
S'i' fosso vento, lo tempersterei
S'i' fosse acqua, i' l'annegherei
Si'i fosse Dio mandereil' en profondo
Si'i fosse Papa allor sarei giocondo
che' tutti cristiani 'mbrigarei
S'i' fosse 'imperator ben lo farei
a tutti taglierei lo capo a tondo
Si'i fosse morte andarei a mi padre
Si'i fosse vita non starei con lui
similmente faria con mi' madre
Si'i fosse Cecco com'i' sono e fui
torrei le donne giovani e leggiadre
le zoppe e vecchie lasserei altrui.
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