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Thursday, 17 May 2018

A secret admirer: a rant.

My husband has never appeared on the 100 Best-Dressed Men in the World list.

I'm not even sure, to be honest, that he'd appear on a list of the 100 Best-Dressed Men in the Street. A life dedicated to wildlife does tend to leave an impression of having been dragged through a hedge backwards - which is perfectly understandable, as a keen naturalist will never let a thicket of blackthorn get between him and a good caterpillar. 

File:Naturalist on the River Amazons figure 38.png
(This from the 1863 The Naturalist on the River Amazons by Henry Walter Bates. Note how casually dressed the naturalist is, even though everyone else is all togged up for a posh wedding.)

In spite of this, we discovered the other day that at least one stranger finds my husband deeply attractive.  

The news came in a letter.

You are always on my mind, it began. I confess I like to imagine what you're wearing as you read my letter... 

Yes, we were slightly unnerved.

Have I caught you in the kitchen, in your pyjamas? 

Make that totally unnerved.

Perhaps relaxed in in puppytooth slim-fit cutaway? 

My husband hastily checked to see if the letter was signed.

Or fully suited and booted..? My hopes are soaring.

It was signed - by the director of a company from whom my husband has once bought a shirt

Everything we do, we do for you.

I'm not really sure if the revelation of the identity of the sender of the letter proved to be more a relief or a disappointment to my husband, but my husband isn't going to be in a hurry to buy any more shirts from the company.

You see, my husband didn't realise when he entered upon the transaction that he was embarking upon an intimate relationship with a complete stranger. 

He really just wanted a shirt.

Word To Use Today: shirt. The Old English form of this word is scyrte, and is related to the other Old English word sceort, which means short. 

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