Thing To Wish We Could Do Today Until We Really think About It: nitriding.

Nitriding: fun, eh? 

I should imagine that nits (they're the eggs of hair lice) are probably quite bouncy, so it'd be something like riding a space hopper.

And, oh, to be small enough to do it (a nit is only about 0.8mm long), well, you'd be inhabiting a different universe. Each hair on your host's head would look wide and strong enough to hold up a suspension bridge. Every pore would be a pot-hole swimming with grease...

...um...

...every adult louse would be a cross between a vampire and a cyberman...

...er...

Actually, perhaps I'll give the nitriding a miss, if that's all right.

What's that? 

Nitriding is nothing to do with nits? 

Or riding?

Well, what is it, then?

Thing To Wish We Could Do Today Until We Really Think About It: nitriding. Sadly, nitriding is actually an extra-strong surface on a piece of steel. You heat the stuff in ammonia for ages, and it makes some of the nitrogen in the ammonia enter the steel and harden it.

Sadly the first syllable of nitriding is usually pronounced night.

Night-riding is usually done on a bike. Do please use lights.