Is it that you have to sit through twenty five minutes of advertisements at the cinema before the film starts?
Is it that people will persist in saying bored of instead of bored with even in quality newspapers for which you've actually paid money?
It's fruit juice.
I don't mean the packaging. Taking simple precautions like donning a frog suit and opening the container in a shower cubical sorts out all the problems there.
No, it's the words. Last week was bad enough (ambient! Ambient!) but the fascinating horror of that experience set me reading the labels of all my fruit juice cartons.
And I found...
One 250ml glass of Del Monte Orange Juice...counts towards your hydration target of 8 glasses of fluid a day.
Hydration target? I have a hydration target?
No one ever told me I had a hydration target!
And of what? Oh, of fluid.
Oh, that's all right, then. A fluid is a liquid or a gas and, I mean, me and air.
Yes, I have to admit that I'm at the air constantly. I must get through eight glasses of air every single minute.
You know, for a moment I almost felt like a failure, there.
Photo: José Manuel Suárez