When I say The Bread Machine, that isn't actually the name of the work I'm about to rave about.
I rather doubt it's by Russell Hobbs, either. Russell Hobbs was probably some respectable bewhiskered gentleman with a gold watch chain and a nightcap (probably not worn at the same time), but I don't think he wrote this work. Why, Russell Hobbs might even have been two people, Mr Russell and Mr Hobbs. Or, for all I know, three girls and a parrot with a shared sense of humour.
I bought a breadmaker the other week, and naturally I was worried about the instructions. You know what instructions are like: written in twenty five languages, none of them bearing much resemblance to any tongue known to man.
And what did I find?
Real English, as clear as daylight.
If you're using the timer, it's even more important to make sure that the yeast/baking powder/baking soda and water/liquid are well separated.
a) they'll have all day to get together while you're not looking
b) the yeast will activate, grow, and die before the programme starts
c) your bread will be hard, dense, coarse, and about as edible as a house brick
See? I admit the piece above doesn't quite flow properly, but it's all quite easy to understand and there are even some jokes.
The writer of these instructions is sadly anonymous, but he or she deserves to be girded with praise.
Word To Use Today: Russell. The name Russell comes from the Old French rousel, which means red-faced or red-haired.
The most distinguished Russell as far as my dictionary is concerned is Bertrand Russell the philosopher.
He gets an entry under Russell's paradox. Russell's paradox proves that you can't always split things into sets.
STOP PRESS: I was right about the whiskers! Here are Bill Russell and Peter Hobbs of breadmaker fame:
Bless them both!
By the way, today is the 75th anniversary of the first publication of The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien.
Another cause for celebration!