That expression, thick as two short planks.
Look, I can see why someone might be described as being as thick as a plank, and being as thick as two planks is obviously twice as bad as that; but why on earth would the fact that the planks are short have anything to do with anything?
No, no, it's all right, really...yes, I'm taking deep breaths.
I mean, this has only been irritating me for a bit more than half a century.
Two plank bridge, photo by eric molina
Word To Use Today: plank. This word comes from the Old Norman French planke, from the Latin planca, board, from plancus, flat-footed. It's probably, too, something to do with the Greek plax, which means a flat surface.