"Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge was safely delivered of a son."
How about that. A new baby.
A NEW BABY!
I'm cooing already.
Yes, I admit the world isn't exactly short of new babies, but how can anyone fail to be thrilled and enchanted by the arrival of a completely new human?
I agree that the new prince is probably a bit squashed, and a bit red, and a bit outraged at the extraordinary thing that's just been forced upon him without so much as a by-your-leave (breathe? I have to breath?? Like, all the time, forever, non-stop???) but I'm sure he's still gorgeous, if possibly in a slightly alien kind of way.
Oh, all right. I suppose there may be people out there who aren't melted to mush by tiny new babies. If there are, then they can always do a bit of billing and cooing with their sweethearts - if such hard-hearted folk have sweethearts.
Or, I suppose, one of these grim people can use of the old British expression of surprise coo! I'm fairly sure that if these kill-joys research how much the Duchess's hospital stay will cost her they'll probably find themselves saying it quite naturally.
Meanwhile the rest of us will be carrying on like love-struck doves.
A baby! A brand new baby, with tiny fingers and scanty hair and a slightly drunken expression...
How could anyone not be utterly and completely charmed?
Thing To Do Today: coo. This word comes from the pigeon, possibly the Turtle Dove Streptopelia turtur. Then we humans borrowed it.