Thing To Do Today: deck.

This is a dangerous word for Christmas Eve, when the mulled wine will be flowing and the mince pies will be giving off heady wafts of brandy. People will get excited, and relations will be annoying, and the last thing I want anyone to do is deck someone.

You see, I was thinking more of the decking-the-halls-with-boughs-of-holly sort of thing.

So, load a tree with lights:



Deck yourself out in that nice novelty reindeer sweater.

Or your small female acquaintances in angel wings.

Or the mince pies with tiny stars.

Or Grandad with those tasteful felt antlers.

And if anyone does get over-excited and looks as if they might start a fight, keep out of the way. Get out of range. Lie low, okay?

And if a fight, perhaps with yule logs, becomes an absolute certainty, I suggest you hit the deck.

Thing To Do Today: deck something. This word comes from he Middle Dutch dec, which means a covering.