This blog is for everyone who uses words.

The ordinary-sized words are for everyone, but the big ones are especially for children.

Thursday, 12 March 2015

a new relationship: a rant.

I have a new Relationship Manager.

No, that's nothing to do with my husband's habit of leaving potted moths* on the dining table. I can cope with that.

No, this Relationship Manager is employed by my bank.

Do I want a relationship with my bank?

No, not really. I just want my money kept safe, and for the bank to give me as much interest as possible. 

Still, if my bank is offering a hand of friendship then surely it would be churlish to spurn it. Anyway, this guy must be red hot: I mean, he has eighteen letters after his name. (CeFA, CeMAP, Dip CII, MBA.)

Anyway, perhaps I ought to go and see him. 

Here's a passage from my Relationship Manager's introductory letter.

" Having recently taken over the management of your portfolio, I am keen to commence our relationship by providing you with a brief synopsis of myself...My years' of experience has afforded me the ability to support my clients to successfully manage their financial affairs adding value to a variety of circumstances and helping them to meet their financial objectives."

...or, on the other hand, perhaps keeping a few gold bars under the floorboards might be less painful.

Alexander Hamilton, founder of the Bank of New York 
(not my bank). 
I bet he could do grammar, too.

Word To Use Today: relationship. This word comes from the Latin relātiō, which describes a narration or relation between philosophical concepts.

*No moth is harmed during this process. Really.

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